What’s in a name?

March 18th, 2010 | Uncategorized
Our very own ‘vine beauticians’ at work

I will name no names, but suffice to say that I received an e-mail recently from one of my contacts and couldn’t help but notice that his job title had changed – I cannot tell you what the new job title was (as that would give the game away), but the new description did at least grab my attention.

I have since read that this could possibly be part of a new phenomenon borne out of the recession that goes under the rather dubious banner of ‘job title inflation’. As employers find themselves unable to increase the remuneration of their staff, they are instead playing a word game by upgrading job titles in an attempt to make their employees feel more valued.

For example, a shelf-stacker in a supermarket becomes an ambient replenishment controller, and a school caretaker is now head of services, infrastructure and procurement……. What ever happened to the campaign for plain English I ask myself?

Anyway, it can all be rather amusing, and so just to make you smile for a few moments, here are some of my favourites:

Beverage Dissemination Officer = Barman
Colour Distribution Technician = Painter & Decorator
Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant = Shop Assistant
Domestic Technician = Housewife
Education Centre Nourishment Consultant = Dinner Lady
Highway Environmental Hygienist = Road Sweeper
Field Nourishment Consultant = Waitress
Five a Day Collection Operative = Fruit Picker
Front Line Customer Support Facilitator = Call Centre Worker
Gastronomical Hygiene Technician = Dish Washer
Mass Production Engineer = Factory Worker
Media Distribution Officer = Paper Boy
Mobile Sustenance Facilitator = Burger Van Worker
Mortar Logistics Engineer = Bricklayer
Petroleum Transfer Engineer = Petrol Station Assistant
Recycling Operative = Bin Man
Sanitation Consultant = Toilet Cleaner
Coin Facilitation Engineer = Toll Booth Collector
Transparency Enhancement Facilitator = Window Cleaner
Vehicle Restoration Engineer = Panel Beater

Not to be out done by this, I have come up with a new title for Angela, in charge of making our wine. In future she will be known as our Senior Grape Conversion Technician.

And me? Well, I’ll just keep my original title – Life Explorer and Experience Architect!

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